Damn it feels good to be a normal; Immigrated from Idontgiveafuckistan

By Minhaz

An excerpt from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:
Tricia: We have normality.
Arthur: Normality, right. We can talk about ‘normality’ til the cows come home.
Ford: What is normal.
Tricia: What is home.
Zaphod: purchase doxycycline, purchase zithromax. What are cows…???

Who of us can say they didn’t desperately cling to normality for as long as we could before the vortex of undocumentedness sucked us into this mess we’re in today? We went to school, tried out for sports, got into frats and sororities, made ethno-diverse friends, ate apple pie and generally overcompensated to try to fit in all the while struggling to do so. And today, we wear our “I’m Un-Doc-u-ment-ed” shirts proudly and aren’t afraid to tell people.

You really don't want none of this hot undocumented mess

It’s still awkward. People will peg you as one thing or another. But we do it anyways because, it’ll come out eventually and we just don’t want to deal with making up a lie about how our dog ate our driver’s license.

Back in the day, it was different. We didn’t have to tell people we were undocumented. We weren’t expected to drive when we were in middle school. And if you’re one of the lucky few who didn’t have to drop out of school or spend your weekends picking up cardboard, then you were able to just coast on being another poor ethnic minority. Woot woot!

Always keep eye contact. Not my fault that I have good manners.

Normality is really overrated. In fact, it straight out sucks hairy horse testicles. It’s full of boring calm and attaining your goals in life. Seriously, fuck that. I’d rather be pushed off the metaphorical road. Then they can use metaphorical money to give me metaphorical bionic arms. “We can rebuild him, we have the technology…” said in Julio Salgado’s announcer voice.

Pictured: Me, running towards all the fucks I don't give

Nope, this life of reoccurring nightmares of that time ICE raided my home, the increasing population of white hairs on my head and trying not to go broke is really doing wonders for my sex drive. Ignore that last one.

The truth is, who wouldn’t want normality? After all, that’s what we’re fighting for isn’t it? Just another normal American life? But the BIGGER truth is… normality just doesn’t exist, whether you’re undocumented or not. Being “undocumented” is just another form of the universe telling the human species to go fuck itself. And it probably said the same thing to our single-celled ancestors, which is why we’re in this mess in the first place!

Intro to Cloning: How to fuck yourself

Minhaz is the creator of Undocublog. He likes to write nonsensical bullshit and watch sappy movies. He also likes to gamble.

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