How ‘Finding Nemo’ taught me more in 5 Seconds than any psychology book ever did

By Juan S

Ia��m always smiling, but I wasna��t always like this. For the most part I was shy, quiet, and scared of trying something new. Now Ia��m nothing like I was before. What helped me breakout of my shell was to finally not care about my immigration status.A�Yet, behind this smile and positive attitude remain my insecurities, depression, and anger.

I was born in Puebla, Mexico. Me and my parents came to the U.S close to 19 years ago. Yup, a long long time ago. My memoriesA�of Puebla are based on the stories narrated by my father and mother. Like the story where a dog would play with me and drag me by myA�diaper

I figured I was undocumented when I was in 8th or 9th grade. I just remember thinking I was weird, but it didna��t bother me. As time passed on it seemed like being undocumented was a sin. For a while I hid my status. But after years of not saying a word I finally had enough. I didna��t care anymore. When my friends found out, they were all very supportive. Sure they asked questions, but that was it. It was as if they didna��t care I was undocumented. I will always thank them for that.

I wish I could go back. I wish my parents could go back. Thata��s what kills me the most. It kills me that my parents cannot go back and see their families. As much as Ia��m frustrated angry, sad, or depressed about my status, I have it easy. I can come home and kiss my parents every day. My parents cana��t. Ita��s been so long since theya��ve seen their families. A couple of months ago my fathera��s grandma (my great-grandma) died. Ia��ve never seen him cry with such sadness. Seeing my dad cry like that made me sad, depressed, and extremely angry. All I could say was a�?Todo va estar bien. Por algo pasan las cosas.a�?A�(Everything is going to be all right. Things happen for a reason)

It angers me of that my status limits what I can or cannot do. I cana��t get financial aid or get internships that would help build my resume (Ia��m an engineering major) for future employment. Even when I graduate, I dona��t know Ia��m going to do because I cannot be legally employed. Maybe Ia��ll stay here. Maybe Ia��ll go back to Mexico. Maybe Ia��ll go to another country.

But for now I will remain smiling and make the best out of my situation.

Dory from Finding Nemo said it best a�?When life gets you down do you wanna know what you’ve gotta do? A�. . . Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.a�?

We will keep swimming, even when it seems impossible.

Juan S is an electrical engineer major planning to transfer from a CCSF to a four year institution. A community/student organizer in San Francisco, he also likes sports (especially baseball, college wrestling, and brazilian jiu jitsu), music, and tattoos. He eats a ridiculous amount of food for such a tiny person. He also like hugs and stuffed animals. Seriously. purchase depakote, purchase clomid.

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